God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
