Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
nutella sex= disaster
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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