It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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