you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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