Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
