Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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