did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
