He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
