Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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