she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
