Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
