I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
