As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
