Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
