All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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