wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
