Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
