Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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