I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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