he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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