I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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