Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
