You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
