she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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