I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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