you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Couch. On fire.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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