"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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