Sry I called you an 8
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
