i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
