Redeem this text for a blowjob
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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