when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
