I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
