Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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