my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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