Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Please don't give away my fajitas
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