Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
