whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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