was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
