I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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