I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
