Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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