I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
