the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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