On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
