so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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