So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
