i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
