That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You need a sexual gate keeper
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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