Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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