did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
