just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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