I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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