It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
