I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
