Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
