i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
