you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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