Who did Billy Mays play for?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
