I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
