She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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