So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You pole danced in your parka.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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