I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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